All those intimate moments, every little sigh, those gentle touches, the lovemaking, the confidences, the orgasms, the attempted orgasms-all mere fuel. There was just the two of us and the pain. All the pretense and rules dissolved away. They'd just stare at me in disbelief and shock. He'd done it, though, because I'd been taking the pith out of hiths listhp. I was lucky to get out of that house alive. One of my "victims" stuck my head on an electric cooker ring. And then when he'd head-butt me, I'd say, "Call that a headbutt?" So the guy would do it again harder. I'd go up to the biggest guy in the place and look up his nostrils and call him a faggot. My mouth always got me into trouble, of course. But then, as far as I was concerned, wasn't everyone doing the same thing? I started to realize something was wrong when I began to get beaten up. I think I always knew deep down I had a drinking problem. Either way, after getting into Alcoholics Anonymous, I didn't even kiss a girl for five years. Or maybe I was just afraid that they'd see through me. I couldn't even look at a girl, much less believe I deserved to converse with one. I carried the guilt of my crimes around with me for years after I stopped drinking. I've been punished, so it's okay to talk about it all. The same thing happened to me, only worse. Then the glaze as they tried to hide how much I was hurting them. Till the big saucer eyes were looking at me. I'd wait until they were totally in love with me. I didn't care how long it took either, because I was in no hurry. It's like when you hear serial killers say they feel no regret, no remorse for all the people they killed. Mentally, not physically, I never hit a girl in my life. To learn more about how and for what purposes Amazon uses personal information (such as Amazon Store order history), please visit our Privacy Notice. You can change your choices at any time by visiting Cookie Preferences, as described in the Cookie Notice. Click ‘Customise Cookies’ to decline these cookies, make more detailed choices, or learn more. Third parties use cookies for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalised ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products. This includes using first- and third-party cookies, which store or access standard device information such as a unique identifier. If you agree, we’ll also use cookies to complement your shopping experience across the Amazon stores as described in our Cookie Notice. We also use these cookies to understand how customers use our services (for example, by measuring site visits) so we can make improvements. We use cookies and similar tools that are necessary to enable you to make purchases, to enhance your shopping experiences and to provide our services, as detailed in our Cookie Notice.
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